They pretty much transcend the age boundary

So a girl may be 14, 18, 23, 27 or whatever age you deem old, but such dramas will nvr really fail to drive a girl crazy! (When i say crazy, i merely mean to an extent of catching those episodes in never ending fashion motion, only stopping when she needs to.) I guess we girls know that nothing of such happen in reality (i mean guys cannot possibly travel around in foundation and what nots everyday to make their looks picture perfect), but somehow those episodes get really addictive! Oh crap, so here am i now, 23, and hooked to some Korean drama that tells of the lives of these famous boy band and how this girl-turned-boy find her way through the hearts of these young punkers.

I have work at 9am tmr at some place i dun even know where but i dont think i'll be sleeping much tonight. Christmas comes in about 30 days and i'm getting all excited and spirited for it.

But till then, those K dramas are my new love!

I think it's about integrity.

Enough of those promises that you break more than you keep.

Mirror Moment

It's been a while since God answered my prayers of getting a cab every time i needed one, so just yesterday afternoon, i was just telling God that if he gave me one this time round, i'll be really pleased. And he really did! For an empty cab was the first thing i saw the moment i got off the bus.

Just in the car with my boss yesterday afternoon, we were talking about how things happen so timely sometimes, and how God has made it as such. I couldn't help agreeing to it enough reflecting on the opportunities this job has brought me thus far. My boss was just telling me how they were really shorthanded during this period too, especially with the leaving of one of their teachers. That said, i'm really having fun in this place where i'm part-timing in right now. And it's kind of sad that knowing that it'll prolly end by this Dec when i start teaching full time next year.

So i'm in this reflective mood just now too and was just reflecting about how this past year has been and i realised that my year this year has been marked by significant periods with significant groups of people, all of which have left me great memories and friendships at every period of my life. From my honours class in NUS, to Radion Thailand, and to my bible college.

This is, actually going to be a memorable year!

It's a pity that the pictures i have in this blog pale in comparison to the amount of memories these periods have left me.

Well, there's always facebook.

Hi, today i want to talk about one of my greatest fears- My fear of uncertainty.

I hate uncertainty. I hate the way it makes me feel, how it keeps you thinking about things you do not even yet know but attempt to think of, how it keeps you on your toes, how you have to wait things out as though time's on your side (for truth is, in most cases, time never is on our side).

Like when i was in school, handing up term papers and exam scripts were bitter sweet moments for me. Handing them up mostly meant having to get them back. I didnt like having to wait to get them back, not because i couldnt wait for them to be returned, but because i didnt like having to keep entertaining the thoughts of the "what ifs". I remember the wait i had to go through when i applied for my university admission with my terrible grades. I didnt like that i wasnt in a position to decide the next step i could take until the outcome of the admission came back. Yes, i couldn't plan.

And then, it's the latest craze of my life- the uncertainty of my job, which thankfully came before i had the chance to lose sleep over it. Not knowing where your resumes really went (front of the computer screen or into some trash with other deleted emails), not knowing if the interviewers like you, not knowing if you will get a job by the time you meet up for your next class gathering, not knowing this not knowing that puts me at unease. Oh yes, and i most certainly hate being new on a job. I feel like the heaviest liability around because there are tons that i do not know. Knowing that i dont know what i do not know sometimes makes me feel helpless because there's nothing i can do about it unless something happens and an opportunity arises as such that i can learn from. Secondly, being new on the job means that you cant know till much later if you really do like the job. How uncertain. Somehow, i rather find out that i do not like a job, than not knowing if i like it or not.

And then, there's love. I wonder when married couples became really certain that their spouses were the ones they really wanted to live with for the rest of their lives. And can anyone actually be very certain of that the moment they get together? I actually do wish that i'll be certain the moment i decided to get together with him(whoever he may eventually be), but i dont think that's ever possible. Even if i was certain, things might eventually change, like how it did with my first relationship. I think i get fearful having to take those risks, like now. Ah, and i am actually afraid that i would be left on the shelves.

Having said all that, i feel that i cant be any any sillier, for i have a God who promises in Jeremiah 29: 11 that he knows everything and has a great plan and purpose for my life, and yet, i struggle with the fear of uncertainty.

Ok, on a lighter note, i now have blue toe nails!

I went into stores today and found out that Ingrid Michealson's album's sold out.

Looks like the whole world loves her as much i do.

Ingrid Michealson- The Way I Am

I've been online for the past 45 mins or so, doing nothing except googling on this singer/songwriter Ingrid Michaelson and listening to all her songs. My favourite and personal love is still "The Way I Am". I did kind of already liked it when i first heard it but after i saw the video just now, i liked it even more!

So as the lyrics go and as you might have guessed, the video speaks about how this girl comes to find herself totally unlovable because of how different she looked compared to the others around her, but yet had the privilege of having a man love her just the way she is. What i love about the video is how they reversed our perspectives, portraying a perfectly normal-looking girl to be the different one, admist her surroundings of clown-faced people. Interesting!

Now how can i not have heard of her until now.

Last night i made a discovery while i was out having dinner with Made and Cherlie. I dont know if any of you actually know about the butt-washing  automated machines in this particular Raffles City toilet, but i sure only found out about them last night! Situated in the toilet just beside the Japanese Shokudo restaurant at Raffles City Basement, these automated machines are attached together with toilet bowls in certain cubicles. And yes, they actually wash your butts for you if u wish to have yours clean!

Ok, so this is how it works. 

Step 1. You press the "Bidet" button to have it start washing your butt. If you want "more thorough cleansing" (as stated on their instructions haha), u press the "spray" button. For more pressure, you turn the knob.

Step 2. You press "stop" and press "dry" for it to air dry your butt.

Step 3. You press "stop" to stop the drying process. I didnt know one had to stop the drying process himself and i was thinking in my head why the dryer just kept going on and on and on!

 

I tried it cos i wanted to know exactly how it works. I know stuff like these are a common sight in Japan and Korea but i never knew they existed in Spore, not at least for the public use in such a place. Ok, I'm a noob but how interesting!

So on another note, I've been in the process of domesticating myself by learning how to cook from my mum these days. So far, it's been chicken stew, curry chicken and fried rice. And just last sunday, i went over to Naomi's place to bake cinnamon rolls, which turned out pretty good. Ah yes, when i'm about done and skilled, i would be able to conquer all men!

Ok, just kidding. 

The Out-of-the-Box lesson

It's funny how just a few weeks back, i would get all clammy and desperate to be able to teach at a primary level, and was flustered when they offered me a teaching position at a sec level during the interview. Yet when i got my letter of offer last week indicating that it was teaching at the sec level, i was  somewhat calm about it. Just a little gasp, just a tinge of disappointment, but was still pretty much thankful that i got an offer considering the tense interview i thought i had, the one that almost came close to an argument.

I guess it's just like what Allan said about Jesus and the rescue boat story, about how Jesus often works in a way that differs from what we have in mind, and we, such narrow minded humans, have faith only enough to envision how God would save us from the boat in such and such a way, with such a such an outcome. But we fail to realize how this God has crazier plans. We just "box" him thinking that our creativity outwits his. Just this week, esp after my boss offered to help me strengthen my appeal for pri sch, i realised that the result of the outcome (pri sch or not) isn't so much of the "evidence" that i should be looking for to determine if i heard God correctly few weeks ago in bible college. Having said that, i've decided not to appeal because i felt that this decision to stick with the posting i got would do my family good for a financial reason. And secondly, i now no longer think that my successful entry to teach at the pri level is the only "evidence" to reveal if i had heard God correctly. Cos truth is- i ask myself, haven't i already seen God's goodness through this whole process? Of how he provided me with such timely opportunities to meet with such people who were able to provide help enormous enough to prolly secure this appeal successfully if i eventually decide to go ahead with it? It dawned on me that the outcome wasn't most important, it was the process. Through this process, i had already seen confirmations. I don't need an outcome to show me that. Not anymore.

And as Allan mentioned, it's ironic that we try not to box God up by thinking of the miraculous ways in which He may work, but by doing so, so often box him "out" in a way.